tell us about it

hahaha yea you should try to get in on some of that national paper action if its your article.

Last night was very much drunken.

i wish school days only went till 12.

school doesnt start til 2 for me. but then again i'm paying like 20000 a year for it.

oh snap. How long is that for?

Im really tired. its quarter to 11 only. ive become such a consumer whore since ive started working but ive less free time so i have to buy myself some happiness.

Really want this bad boy: http://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/0740748475/ref=sib_rdr_dp

o it's actually around 13k plus living expenses. 4 years

FUCK.

Once again i don't want to post this on the internet but someone's mother died. someone who i've talked about alot and who i changed my username because i didnt want to mention that person anymore.

FUCK.

No idea what happened. Want to help. Don't know how. Doing my best.

shit, that sucks. i'm really sorry to hear that, bro.

you might wanna edit that to take out my name..not that it matters really..!

I text her last night and she text me back so at least she knows she can talk to me if she wants, i can't do anything else really

oooooo yea sorry. yea well even if she doesnt reach out to you, knowing that you're there for her is probably helpful

ive pretty much resigned to myself to the fact that its all i can do. i would have been beating myself up over something like this except when death is invovled you kinda gotta take a step back..

So im gonna just go to the funeral home part. not sure how ye do it but we have a general meet and show support part and then theres the full blown church service with the moving to the burial the next day. so i think im just going to the first one. my boss has been really good over it but ive already asked for a day off for graduation so i dont wanna ask for another one especially as far as i can see there's no huge benefit of me going..ugh i dunno.

part of me thinks i should feel bad for not feeling so bad for not going to the whole thing (if that makes sense) but we're not going out anymore and ive done as much as is right for someone in my situation. i think..

yea i think you've done more than what's expected for somebody in your situation. she'll reach out if she really needs to. maybe check in periodically, if you don't already do that.

BASICALLY:

should i be putting more effort in? (as an ex and basically her best friend for over a year)

or am i right to keep a bit of a distance (as an old friend of sorts who isn't really in her life anymore)

i feel bad for making so much drama when she won't even notice either way probably because its such a horrible situation but now ive started thinking about it again..and spilling my guts here. any thoughts in the next 24 hours would be super

ah, feedback, unexpected. so yes i've explained a bit better up there i think.

like i say she probably doesn't even properly notice whats going on. i've tried to keep a distance but then i get doubts because we were so close up until a few months ago.

I haven't text her today at all, i might see how she is tomorrow

what would be the risk or the downside to involving yourself a little more?

well firstly i dont know how to go about it, im terrible in these situations, over analyse everything im going to say, don't know how to express myself etc.

i just dunno if she wants to be left alone or if she'd like people to get in contact with her etc. i don't want her to feel like she has to text me back but at the same time i don't want to seem like i'm ignoring her.

i think a text actually saying that you're there to talk or help or anything is definitely a good thing. i'm bad in these situations too, but looking in from the outside, i think it would be better to err on the side of doing too much as opposed to doing too little.
also, what's the worst case scenario? she says "thank you for being so thoughtful but i think i just need to be alone right now"?

yeah i sent that text the first day after i finished work, she said thanks. then she sent a text to everyone today saying about the funeral. i didn't text anything back.

so i basically want to see how she is but don't know how to phrase it. i don't want to come across like i expect her to tell me everything but i want her to know that im still her friend. and i don't want it to sound as fucking dawsons creek as that.

im hopeless with funerals, always have been.

lol @ dawson's creek

"hey. just wanted to check in and see how you're feeling. let me know if there's anything at all i can do."

i'm so retarded when it comes to stuff like this. i have a mental thing that makes me re-think everything.

Cheers man. once again this place allows me to try and sort my head out. i'd be slightly more lost without internet friends. i should sleep nowww.

no problem. good luck and good night

i text her today just to see how she was and she text back after a bit. im glad i did now. i've def done as much as i can now. funeral is tomorrow evening, its gonna be really sad.

yea i bet. good luck

awww "username" that's such a shitty situation to get stuck in. and i'm totally late getting in on this, but i say the same thing matt does: just let her know you're there if she ever needs you. good luck.



soooooo i got swine flu. fantastic -___________-

well the funeral sucked and was sad.
and it was slightly awkward meeting her friends and family for the first time in a few months again but whatever that doesn't really matter.

and i did pretty much all i could do so there's that at least.
was meant to go partying tonight, it's been planned for a while but i don't really feel like it